The Darker Sides of Hyperglotism

2018 has had its share of victories for me so far, but sadly it also resulted it a huge series of rude awakenings.

For one, especially after the Polyglot Conference and my growing presence online, I’ve felt my inbox flooded with people asking for learning advice and resources and many other things. I am very grateful for that, in a sense, but to some degree I feel overwhelmed because the day is not far off when I will get WAY too many messages for me to deal with.

I started this blog and became a teacher because I know that the contemporary world is full of pain (as has, most likely, all of human history to date). Contemporary marketing thrives on insecurity, building up limiting beliefs and convincing people that their dreams are out of reach.

I know how it feels to be confused and without hope, and I hope that my writings have brought at least a little bit of healing to the world.

On the other hand, since this year started, there have been a number of difficult happenings. I woke up on morning to find an entire thread on Reddit devoted to hating me with every imaginable awful thing said about me (they linked to my blog and that’s how I found out about it). Thankfully the moderators got involved (perhaps a bit too late) and doled out warnings and deleted the thread (sort of) but the damage still lingers in my heart, despite some apology messages I got.

Anti-Semitism has also entered as well in ways I don’t want to describe. Suffice it to say that, while being Jewish has largely been a source of advantage and comfort for me nowadays rather than either a social liability / point of discrimination / source of guilt, it has been used against me….especially in private messages from complete strangers who don’t hold back.

Unlike in previous years, I find myself in a permanent spotlight. I can’t live a private life anymore, even if I wanted to. But this is what I wanted for years and it is surprisingly stressful when I got it.

I have to be aware that every interaction I have with anyone ANYWHERE has the potential to be used for me or against me. I have to keep my fluent languages in even better shape.

This ties into another thing: I’ve been focusing a lot more on my fluent languages than I have on ones I’d like to know. Part of me wishes it were otherwise, but I also fear that I am suffering from burnout as well.

Thankfully earlier this year I also became a video game tester as well so that has been something new, exciting and quite fulfilling. But if you’re expecting that a job like that is “play games and get paid”, you’re not exactly right. (A lot of the games can be extremely frustrating and you have to take detailed notes on what does or doesn’t work).

Earlier this month I said I was working on Kiribati and Rotuman, but I gave up on improving Kiribati after the first day (for now, at least). I’ll come back to it another day, perhaps one in which I haven’t suffered from so much “Oceania fatigue” (Rotuma is different given that it will likely come of use in Fiji, however slim the chances, and if it blossoms into something to write about I can’t lose that chance).

I constantly feel as though I need to maintain ALL of my projects PERFECTLY AT ALL TIMES, in a twisted perfectionism that has left me confused. I find myself wondering if the good fortune I’ve had so far is something I even deserve, and doubting my successes is another thing I do with unfortunate consistency.

One day I think I will no longer be vexed by this “new state of things”. But much like adjusting to a new reality, as I had too many times throughout my life (going to an Orthodox Jewish Day school for the first time, entering an inner-city high school from there and then Wesleyan University and then four other countries FOLLOWED BY a confused return to my homeland which didn’t seem as though it was mine anymore) will take a lot of difficulty at the beginning, followed by (what I hope can be) some variety of solace.

The Fijian and Fiji Hindi recordings are almost ready, I just need to compile and upload them!

Do YOU relate to anything that I’ve described here? Go ahead and let us all know!

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3 Months of Fijian Concluded – How Did I Do?

Happy Birthday to Kathy Gimbel! (My Mom!)

Well three months of Fijian is, in a sense, over! But my studying and love of the Fijian language will, as things stand, never cease!

Did I become fluent in it? At the VERY least, I have a solid grounding in things related to tourism and getting around. At the most, I may be able to teach classes in Fijian will little of an issue!

A lot of people ask me if it is possible to learn a language in a short amount of time, especially given the endless debates about Benny Lewis’s “Fluent in 3 Months” name. (Do we need another reminder that the title is actually a challenge rather than a promise?)

Here is my honest opinion: in three months, it is VERY possible to assemble the FRAME of a language. This means that you (1) understand the pronunciation (2) understand how sentences are made (3) understand how various parts of speech (e.g. adjectives, nouns, verbs, etc.) are formed and where they go in a sentence. (Example: in a language like English an adjective would go before a noun in modifies, in Fijian it would go after, hence “the Bible” would be “iVola Tabu” [yes, the word “tabu”, from where we get the word “tabu” in English, DOES also mean “holy” in addition to something not spoken about or treated with holiness!]).

Once you make the FRAME, you start filling in the “picture”, which is vocabulary from which you acquire from reading / using the language / other means. I’m already 700+ words into my Fijian Memrise course (I intend to put the whole glossary of the Lonely Planet Guide into it!)

vosa vakaviti

Anyhow, here are some observations:

 

  • With languages closer to English, you can fall into the trap of having the illusion of knowing MORE by virtue of the fact that you understand more of it. With languages more distant from English, your active vocabulary should be your primary focus.

 

Learning how to say basic sentences (and then, later on, more complicated sentences) is a confidence builder that will enable you to assemble the “frame”, however slowly.

In learning Fijian, I turned on audio about three weeks in and I could barely understand any of it except for when they lapsed into English (which, predictably, does happen in radio broadcasts—English is an official language of Fiji, after all). This actually got me away from immersion (which was the path of least resistance when I was learning English Creoles, for example) and more focused on my active abilities.

In a sense, this was an advantage – because I focused a lot more on my own acquisitions rather than expecting passive work to “do everything”. I did do some immersion at points, even when I felt I wasn’t really ready, in order to pick out key words, note sentence structure or, best of all, improve my accent. (The Fijian “r” and “s” in particular are very juicy—not surprisingly, many people from places like Papua New Guinea will speak English with heavily rolled r’s and thick s’s that sound like the “ce” in “Joyce”)

Even what may seem like heavy disadvantages can be used to hack your brain into getting it doing what needs to be done.

  • Don’t Stress About Your Accent. It Will Come Eventually!

I remember one time that I was reciting Fijian phrases for a friend I remarked that I was “speaking Fijian with a New York Accent” (wait, that was last night, wasn’t it?) That said, I repeated the phrase in something that sounded more like natural Fijian as spoken by a native speaker.

I was really worried that I sounded like a “white person” in my first batch of recordings for the 30-Day Speaking Challenge, but interestingly enough I noticed that the more Fijian I spoke, the more I would be attuned to the pronunciation norms, especially when I would listen to Fijian music during my commute. (Warning: a lot of contemporary Fijian music does rely heavily on auto-tune, so some may prefer radio over music for that).

This is a good thing to keep in mind for my next three-month mission (May – July) as well as for future ones.

 

  • Sometimes Speaking Exercises About Your Life Cannot Prepare You for All Situations.

 

Fijian pronouns have FIFTEEN forms. Let’s have a look at this chart, shall we?

 

na vosa

Source: https://universalium.academic.ru/295036/Pronouns_in_Fijian

 

Guess how many of them I was using in my speaking exercises? Usually just “au”, “eratou” and “era” (sometimes pronounced as “iratou” or “ira”). For those unaware: paucal is for a GROUP of things, plural is for a LARGE GROUP of things (or speaking about a species or type of person in general).

 

And then of course the possessives were even odder because there are multiple possessive forms depending on whether you own the object substantially, will eat it, will drink it, or … miscellaneous.

 

I had to do a bunch of table recitations (and use them in sentences) in order to get this “missing information” in my head, because these pronouns and possessives ARE important!

 

  • Focus on What You DO Have Rather Than What You are Lacking!

Little I can say to this other than what I just wrote. In going through my Memrise lists there were so many words I didn’t know or recognize, but the important thing is to not get discouraged and move forward!

 

  • In the Event of a Rarer Language or One Whose Native Speakers You May Not See Often, Don’t Overthink It.

I can imagine that actually being in Fiji will be a significant guide for me to “conform” and patch up on my knowledge accordingly. I’ll learn a lot of aspects of formality and slurred speech than I may have not been able to pick up from my books or from the speaking exercises accordingly. I intend to believe in myself!

 

Future Plans:

I’ll continue to be working on Fijian accordingly, but now that I’ve “assembled the frame”, I think I could turn my focus elsewhere. I’ve been working on Fijian almost non-stop for the whole year, and I’m itching for a new project.

So for May – July (as things stand) I’ll be doing Kiribati / Gilbertese (in addition to “sides” of other languages) and for the fall (August – October) I’m likely to focus on Hungarian. These were two languages I’ve dreamed of learning and this is the year they’ll get the attention they deserve!

Lastly I’d like to thank all of my readers for believing in me and writing supportive comments. Also! Ask questions! Suggest future articles! This blog continues to exist because of readers like YOU!

 

How to Start Learning Lao: Resources and Things to Know

The final day of Pi Mai Lao (ປີໃຫມ່ລາວ or Lao New Year) is also upon us! It is also referred to as “Songkran”, which is essentially the same as the Thai New Year (which also uses the latter term). Thingyan (the Burmese New Year) and Songkran actually have a shared root from Sanskrit (saṁkrānti, which the is a word indicating the transit of the sun from Pisces to Aries).  Oh, and the Cambodians have the same thing too: Choul Chnam Thmey (Enter New Year).

It’s as good as an opportunity as any for you to begin your Lao Journey so let’s get you started!

First off, you should realize that Lao and Thai are siblings. But given that Thailand had the luxury of being the only country in the neighborhood that wasn’t colonized (something which it probably owes for its standing in the world today as one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world), you could imagine that it has some differences to Laos. Laos was not only colonized by the French but also has the distinction of being human history’s most bombed country (thanks to Henry Kissinger). Then the Communists took over, changed the flag, many aspects of local culture and, of course, the language.

For those of you who read my article on Yiddish a while back, I mentioned Soviet Yiddish, which changed the orthography of the Yiddish language in a significant manner. Yiddish has words of Hebrew and Aramaic origin but unlike words of European origin in Yiddish they are NOT spelled phonetically, instead being spelled the way they are in Hebrew or Aramaic (which has the vowels as unwritten marks UNDER the words rather than doing what Yiddish does – incorporating various letters as vowel sounds as stand-ins for English letters like a, e, i, o and u). The Soviet changed that system—in which even names for JEWISH HOLIDAYS were spelled phonetically.

There are some theories as to why this choice was made, and the two prominent ones are (1) to detach religious significance from Yiddish and (2) to make it more accessible to learners (and let me tell you, the “having to memorize the pronunciation of each Hebrew-origin word In Yiddish” DOES trip up a LOT of my students).

Now Thai and Lao both have loan words from other languages, most notably Pali (which is an Indo-European Language in which the holy scriptures of Theravada Buddhism are written). But in Lao the same thing happened as with Soviet Yiddish. In Thai, the Pali loan words’ pronunciations don’t always match their written form. The Lao Communist authorities changed that, so that Lao is a “what you see is what you read” variety of language.

To give you an example of a Pali loan word in Lao, the Pathet Lao (the communist faction that took over after the 1975 civil war) is related to the word “Pradesh” which is present in…the names of several states of India! (You see? Pathet? Pradesh?) Now you have an idea!

Laos probably has the reputation along with Myanmar of being the “least touristy” of the Southeast Asian countries, and that’s precisely why it has its appeal.

Laotian expatriate / immigrant communities exist in many areas of the world, especially on the West Coast of the United States (I’ve heard that California does have a need for Lao interpreters).

Also keep in mind that Laotian -> citizen of Laos, as opposed to Lao -> refers to an ethnicity.

Some resources I’ve used to learn Lao (even though I’m not fluent yet), would include some of the following:

The Lonely Planet Book is very good, if it does have a flaw it may be the fact that it is meant for quick usage rather than being too suitable towards in-depth learners. That said, the glossary is EXTREMELY helpful, the tones and the concept of consonant tiers is explained, not also to mention many aspects of local cultures and, very importantly, when Western cultures can clash with Lao ones and how to be aware of and prepare for that.

Very suitable towards getting people to talk as QUICKLY as possible, the various books of the Live Lingua Project are also useful as well. Some people may consider the fact that the Lao alphabet is seldom used in these books as a bit of a flaw (by contrast, the Lonely Planet book and the Seasite NIU Website use the characters with transliteration as often as possible, except with the literature portions).

The books are DEEP and are supposed to get people who work for the Foreign Service or the Peace Corps to get using the language AS QUICKLY AS THEY CAN. So if that’s you, even if you don’t work with these organizations, those books are for you.

Seasite NIU (http://www.seasite.niu.edu/lao/) is also very helpful complete with dialogues and tone resources and other fun things that you can engage with. Did I mention that everything comes with FULL AUDIO?

I also used that website in my own Lao Learning Series, which you can see here:

 

Also if you’re a Lao native speaker, feel free to provide feedback to my 30 Days of Lao Challenge from this past November (for non-Lao speakers or understanders, turn on CC):

Have YOU learn Lao? How about both Lao and Thai? How close are they in your opinion? How have your experiences learning or using Lao in Laos or elsewhere in the world been? Let us know in the comments!

Is Fiji Hindi the Hardest Language I’ve Learned to Date? (And Resources to Learn Fiji Hindi)

While I’ve been doing some light studying of Fiji Hindi on and off since October 2017 on my YouTube channel, I only began studying Fiji Hindi in earnest about a week and a half ago, having made it my primary project for April 2018 given that I’ve become ever more comfortable with Fijian.

Yes, I’ve been getting significant pressure to focus more on Standard Hindi (mostly from people who know very little if not in fact nothing about Fiji), but Fiji Hindi it is, because it is the “language of the heart” concerning pretty much all Indo-Fijians. Standard Hindi may be useful but my first priority is ensuring that I can manage Fiji Hindi well enough (because pretty much nowhere else online have I encountered anyone doing what I’m doing with Fiji Hindi right now).

I’ve made four recordings in Fiji Hindi thus far for the 30-Day Speaking Challenge and already I’ve noticed a drastic improvement in me being able to put sentences together. That said, I still speak in a very simple manner and come NOWHERE CLOSE to being able to ask for directions / order things in restaurants using only Fiji Hindi.

The process of making those recordings, on the other hand, has been difficult for a number of reasons:

While Fiji Hindi is, from the perspective of linguistic concepts, not too difficult (Palauan and Greenlandic required a lot of mind-bending), from the perspective of resources it has been the most difficult language I’ve encountered.

At least with Fijian I had phrasebooks. With Palauan I had a good website (tekinged.com). With Kiribati / Gilbertese I had a good textbook as well as several thorough online dictionaries.

For Fiji Hindi, I’ve haven’t had as many materials that have significantly eased the process for me. There is the Glosbe Sentence dictionary, as well as the Live Lingua Project (look under Fijian for the Fiji Hindi Course!), not also to mention a series of good grammar books (available on Google) and an excellent Memrise Course.

Oh! And there’s Wikipedia available in Fiji Hindi as well (https://hif.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pahila_Panna).

For dictionaries, I use Glosbe’s sentence translations, the CTRL-F function on various books, and this dictionary which tends to be very clearly hit-or-miss (http://www.oocities.org/fijihindi/FijiHindiEnglishDict.htm). For verb conjugations there’s Wikiversity (from which I compiled this video walking you through the conjugations):

That said, a lot of these materials have been inconsistent in multiple ways (e.g. writing systems, the grammar book even uses the Devanagari script which even the Wikipedia [intended for native speakers] doesn’t use, the Peace Corps book uses upside-down e’s and the Memrise course doesn’t [and neither does the Wikipedia or the small bit of the Lonely Planet South Pacific Phrasebook devoted to Fiji Hindi]).

In a sense, this language has been very hard because even sculpting a SIMPLE SENTENCE can take multiple cross-references of all of these materials as well as using Google Search’s function to find out how legitimate (or not) a simple phrase is (to do this, use quotation marks to ensure that the EXACT combination of words you’re looking for exists somewhere. This can [and usually does] work even for languages with small internet presences!)

There’s also Fiji Indian TV (at http://www.fijiindiantv.com/ , with a lot of their videos hosted on YouTube) and the amount of English loan words used is staggering (and a friend of mine, Kevin Fei Sun of Bahasantara [https://medium.com/bahasantara] gave me fair warnings about how commonly they’re used even in Standard Hindi). I’ve been using this to ensure that my accent is…well…better…in some respect…because both in person and on YouTube I’ve had people telling me that I “sound like a white person” when I speak Fiji Hindi.

Maybe all I need is more effort and speaking practice invested in Fiji Hindi and the problem will “go away”. But if you’ve ever had this issue with Indo-Aryan Languages (regardless of what race you are), then do let me know! I’m always ready to hear inspiring stories!

After a week or two of recordings, I’ll set in place goals to ensure that I don’t have “gaps” in my Fiji Hindi vocabulary, much like I did with Fijian in February and March.

By the way, the March 2018 30-Days-of-Fijian recording WILL be up by next week!

This is the beginning of what promises to be a very exciting journey!

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Reflections on March 2018: Fijian, Lao and Starting Fiji Hindi – How Did I Do?

2018 is nearly a quarter-done and I could barely believe it given that it seemed as though only a few hours ago I was welcoming in the year by jumping off a chair, Danish-style.

After the pure euphoria that was the 2017 Polyglot Conference (and my presentation at it), I expected to rake in victory after victory this year, but so far I don’t think that it has happened. For one, I developed a partnership to develop “Nuuk Adventures” as soon as their new game comes out and it was postponed from January to April. I found myself losing a lot of motivation, burning out and just “wanting to take a break”—from game making, from language learning, pretty much everything, to be honest. I continue to feel detached and suspicious.

This month I had two challenges, one for Fijian and another for Lao. Fijian, no big surprise, made the largest share of gains. I feel that I could navigate my way around the countryside in Fiji without using English now. In a few days begins April, and then my focus will shift to Fiji Hindi with most of my efforts with Fijian focused on education and the Memrise course I’m working on.

With Fijian, every single one of my weak points has been significantly dealt with, in part because of a YouTube series that I made that you can watch here. I figured that if I were having trouble with some things, other learners of Fijian would as well:

The grammar I have practically mastered, thanks in part to the 30-Day Speaking Challenge when I successfully completed (I’ll post it during April).

I’ve noticed my pronunciation is better but I certainly don’t sound like a native speaker at all.

Lao was interesting. I devoted 30 minutes a day to it (much like I did Fijian, and often this resulted in later nights and earlier mornings). This included the following activities:

  • Actively listening to my YouTube Series:

 

 

  • Actively reading out loud phrases from my Lonely Planet Phrasebook (this time I got the Lao exclusive one and it has been going by very well, although some aspects of the proverbs mentioned in the blurbs still confuse me).

 

  • Listening to Lao music while walking on the street. (Look for “Lao Contemporary Music” in YouTube if you’re an absolute beginner, by the way!)

 

  • Teaching some phrases to my friends (especially people from East Asian countries such as China or South Korea that want to know why on earth Lao is my strongest East Asian Language—yes, now even stronger than Burmese, which I haven’t been putting effort into).

 

Am I fluent? No. Am I making progress? Yes, but I sidelined it because for April I’m focusing almost exclusively on Fiji Hindi as well as Fijian.

 

Already Fiji Hindi is opening doors for me, given that it is sometimes mutually exclusive with Hindi and Urdu. The differences between these languages also make for good conversation points. Sometimes I’ve been told that I “speak like a white guy” but above all most people with whom I have used it have been appreciative.

 

In addition to that I’ve now been learning about Indo-Fijian history, which makes me appreciate the overall Fijian story in a new light.

 

So goals for April:

 

  • 30 minutes a day on Fijian, focusing more on making my personal Memrise course.
  • 30 minutes a day on Fiji Hindi, focusing on the 30-Day Speaking Challenge and writing to my friends who speak standard Hindi.

 

I’m also ALWAYS open to the idea of finding more iTaukei (Indigenous Fijian) and Indo-Fijian music. So if you know anything you’d recommend, let me know!

April makes the third month of my 3-Month Fijian Challenge. I intend to make it a great one!

vosa vakaviti

Ajoraluaqaaq! (Really Bad!) How My Greenlandic Mission for February 2018 Crashed and What I Need to Do

First off, I should say that 22 out of 30 days isn’t bad. The fact that I was capable of doing SOMETHING is indeed an accomplishment. But, it’s time for me to reflect on what I did wrong and how I can learn going forward.

For one, I should realize that there was possibly something outside of my control. The fact is, I got ill in the middle of February (right when the slump started happening) and I should learn to “have mercy” on myself accordingly.

Similar timetables in my life got scrambled as a result of that illness (e.g. for the video games I’m working on, etc.) Luckily now that it has been detected, I’m on an upwards trajectory and it shouldn’t last any more than a few days.

Anyhow, let’s go ahead and show you the video, which is almost half the size as the one I did for the November 2017 30-Day Challenge I did for Lao:

Some thoughts: I really start out enthusiastic but I lose steam very quickly. My recordings also tend to become shorter.

After having reached 22 out of 30 days, I decided that I’m going to “end this one early”.

Here are the probable reasons why I did this:

 

  • My illness.

 

No denying that and I should have taken it into account. Now that I’m almost recovered, I’m seven days into the Fijian challenge and it is going GREAT!

 

  • I needed the “Temple of Greenlandic” in my life in more earnest.

 

I spoke about the “Temple” theory with Ari in Beijing last year. The fact is, to learn a language, you need a dedicated “temple” to its usage within your time schedule. Not a physical one, mind you, but a time in your weekly tasks which you devote to either learning or using the language (depending on how fluent you are and / or how much you can understand).

Back in 2013 / 2014 when I began with Greenlandic, I found no shortage of music or TV shows that I liked. It was refreshingly new and it was like a first love, in a sense.

 

Now the relationship has aged and I need to somehow “spark it up” a bit.

 

I probably need new music, new shows and also a likely return to it on Memrise (Greenlandic and Finnish are the two languages that I’ve plugged the most time in on memrise, actually. I believe Greenlandic by itself accounts for several million points on my end. I’m not even joking!)

 

  • Between two languages, one seems to hog a lot of the spotlight.

 

And for February that was Fijian, which contained the spark of something new and a place I still have yet to explore. I still very much love Greenlandic. I have to be aware of this dynamic in the future and realize that MOST of my gains are going to be made with only one of the two languages I choose to focus on at the moment.

 

Part of me considered even using March for all-in Fijian, but I decided that I really, REALLY needed something Southeast Asian and that I would suffer without it (in a sense). So Lao got in, and I’ve been making SOME progress with Lao, but not as much as I have with Fijian.

 

  • Burnout / Maybe I need a break from active study

 

I noticed that with some languages, like Icelandic or Polish, that I studied actively on and off for a while, that when I returned to them intensely after “pauses” (in which I did maintain them but usually for a tiny bit each week), my knowledge of them was oddly…refreshed and somehow enhanced.

 

I hope that this month will be some helpful time for my Greenlandic to simmer as well. No doubt when Nanook’s new album comes out (likely later this year), I’ll want to turn to Greenlandic again. The same goes for the company joining the Kaverini team as soon as their current project is finished (their game, which I tested, is scheduled for a release later this month).

 

  • Exhaustion and Pressure

 

With this blog and with several interviews with me online, I now have the pressure to keep up and improve my languages like never before.

 

That, in addition to my Kaverini-related projects as well, not also to mention several of my YouTube series AND my freelancing.

 

It’s tough and I think the sheer weight of it can be stressful at times. This, on top of the sickness, was probably what dealt me a losing hand for this last month’s 30-Day Speaking Challenge.

 

Still, I’m glad I did it.

 

Every hour I plug into Greenlandic-related everything is true fulfillment in my life, given how much of my outlook, optimism, and warmth I owe to this culture of unbelievable fortitude and strength.

 

Perhaps it wasn’t a defeat after all.

Mother of the Sea and Me

 

YOU can try to the challenge for yourself come months in the future at the following link! http://hugginsinternational.com/30dayspeakingchallenge/

 

Each of my Language Learning Journeys, Summarized Humorously in One Sentence Each

I’ll be posting something about my underaccomplishment with the 30-Day Challenge in Greenlandic in the coming days, but I thought it would be very humorous for me to try something else for a change.
By the way, my Fijian is getting FANTASTICALLY better with each coming day (I still have some blind spots that will be weeded out in the coming weeks, not also to mention the fact that I’ve been focusing mostly on speaking rather than listening or reading right now, given that I’ll be doing most of THAT when I’m in Fiji. Listening, reading and writing will no doubt follow, and I’m not even sure if writing exercises for Fijian would be effort ideally paid off because the only people I know who have lived in Fiji have been expats that only know a few words / sentences of Fijian.)

 

My list to be cleared with Fijian includes:

 

– numbers up until 1 billion

– FULLY mastering the complication plural pronouns (they come in four persons, singular, dual, paucal and plural — indicating 1, 2, a group and a BIG group)

– Family member words (significantly more complicated than in the languages of Western Europe)

– Grammatical kinks to be ironed out (especially politeness tiers and transitive suffixes on verbs).

 

Anyhow, you’ve come for humor so that’s what you’re getting. Please don’t take any of these too seriously 🙂

 

English – Even if you speak me natively, there will always be one proper noun that throws you off–so deal with it!

Ancient Hebrew – the closest a language ever got to resembling the mechanics of alphabet refrigerator magnets.

Bislama – Most people found out about this language through either a friend, a phrasebook or most likely of all…a Polandball meme!
Pijin – It’s Bislama without any French interjections. 🙂

Tok Pisin – What do you get when you cross Australian English with 800+ languages?

Trinidadian Creole English – Good luck trying to find written resources for this one.

German – The language that you realize is dangerously similar in many ways to Shakespeare’s English, but you only realize it if you’re beyond the intermediate stage.

Spanish – How many layers of slang would you like with your language? (I almost wrote “the language that people learn to say that they’re learning a language.”, but I decided against it. Or did I?)

Yiddish – you’d be surprised how much American English slang borrowed from me, but you’ll never know unless we spend quality time together.

Norwegian – exactly the linguistic kaleidoscope you would expect from a country that is 96% uninhabitable land.

Swedish – be prepared to learn EVERYTHING about syllable stress if you expect to be friends with me!

Danish – rumors of my difficulty have been very greatly exaggerated.

Icelandic – the language whose future everyone likes to freak out about.

Salone Krio – it’s like what American English would be if it were grammatically consistent, had regular spelling and made sense.

Hebrew – the language of the Bible, sprinkled with influence from French teachers, Russian emigres and American TV, among others.

Finnish – don’t let the big tables intimidate you, a lot of those forms you’ll almost never use in conversation.

Fijian – Wait, if there ARE enlongated vowels, how come they’re not written out? What do you mean, you’re just supposed to know? WHY?!!!?

Jamaican Patois – If you want to find out how open-minded someone REALLY is, mention the fact that you’re either learning this language or speak it fluently as an L2….be prepared!

Hungarian – Native speakers will love you for this…100% guarantee or your money back!

Polish – one of two langauges that caused me to nearly throw my computer in rage (the other one is below this one)

Greenlandic – How long do you like your words? 15 letter? 26 letters? 62 letters?

Lao – we disguised our Indo-European loan words really well. Come and find ’em!

Kiribati / Gilbertese – And you thought Dominican Spanish was fast.

Irish – Frightening learners with its orthography since time immemorial.

Myanmar / Burmese – There are four tones. Make that three tones. Make that two tones.

Tajik – Contrary to popular belief, Tajikistan is NOT a fictional country…Farsi’s little sibling lives there!

Palauan – Consonant jumble jamble!
Vincentian Creole English – I’m actually not a tonal language.

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