The Most Important Lessons of my Life So Far (30 Years of Jared Reflection)

On my 30th birthday I think of all the times in which people ask me if I “feel old”. The fact is, I feel wiser and more confident with each passing day, despite the fact that this decade has probably been the most difficult one of my life (granted, the sample size is not large).

At age 20, I was a student at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem while abroad from Wesleyan University. Looking back, I think that I was a LOT less restrained and a lot less “polished” in terms of my behavior. Paradoxically I was both an iconoclast AND very religious. The maturity that I’ve acquired since then, despite the fact that most of it happened as a result of negative experiences, is, oddly enough, something that I’m grateful for.

At age 30, here I am in Brooklyn, teaching a multitude of languages to very curious and smart people. It was something I’ve dreamed of doing since before my Bar Mitzvah. I also wanted to be a hyperpolyglot throughout most of my life, but I think a mixture of having discovered the right blogs and the right tools made it possible.

Also, perhaps at this juncture I’ll make a list of the worst things about my personality, as well as the best things.

Bad things:

  • I question myself very often, perhaps way too often.
  • I have a narcissistic streak in which I sometimes seem openly concerned for the way that I am perceived.
  • I set EXTREMELY high standards for myself, even to my detriment.
  • I am difficult to impress.
  • I tend to blame myself for anything bad in any situation.

Good things:

  • I am on an endless quest for self-improvement (and this attracts other people with similar qualities into my life).
  • I take advice from people readily and I apply it (my rabbis and coaches have noted that I do a “fantastic” job at applying advice and changing my behavior when asked).
  • I am difficult to provoke and remain calm in a lot of situations (to a degree that sometimes scares people, but also enables them to put their trust in me).
  • I make an uncanny amount of connections between things in my brain (this is probably my BIGGEST advantage as a learner).
  • I pride myself in being different and taking “roads less travelled”.

 

Now for the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my life so far. I may have written an article like this before, or possibly not. Honestly, I can’t remember.

Here we go!

  • Frame Your Life as a Story or an Epic in Conversations.

 

Characters such as Abraham and Odysseus are memorable because their characters are formed via transformative journeys.

 

Even if you haven’t left your hometown, you can still see yourself on a similar type of journey in a sense.

 

For me, the fact that I hopped between Orthodox Jewish Day School and Inner-City Public school and then Wesleyan University and then 20+ different countries made me a bit of a confusing fellow earlier in my life but an “epic character” later on.

 

Given that I downsized my religiosity, that also adds another element as well. Given that I became a hyperpolyglot, that also serves as a “twist” in a sense. Given that I stopped pursuing advanced degrees to create my own game(s), that shows deep courage.

 

Find what your story is.

 

  • To Teach Well, Think about What your Boring Teachers Did and Do the Opposite of What They Did.

 

 

Granted, in this clip my body language could…improve a bit (I think that I’m shaking too much). But hey, it was my first time.

 

Note what I did in the clip. Used a theatrical style filled with energy. I spiced up my presentation with artistic detail and tiny “blink and you’ll miss it” details (including having hid several of my gaming user handles in the presentation).

 

I’m not dismissive of anyone’s questions and I answer them on point. If I don’t know something, I say that I don’t (as what I did with Yanjaa Wintersoul’s question about learning from different consoles).

 

Richard Simcott approached me after the presentation and said that he was told “excellent things” about my presentation including several wishes that I could “come back” for future Polyglot Conferences. (It seems unlikely that I’ll be in Fukuoka for the 2019 Polyglot Conference, though).

 

  • If You Want Something, Take the Necessary Steps to Get that Something IMMEDIATELY.

Life getting too routine? Draw up a multi-step plan on how to change it and do SOMETHING to change it.

 

Too concerned about a flaw in your life? Speak to a friend about it.

 

Want to learn the language of your dreams? Start NOW!

 

I could go on.

 

  • Make Lists Often.

The self-descriptive article at its finest.

 

  • Realize That a Lot of Advertising and News Articles Are Meant to Tug at Your Insecurity for Clicks and Sales.

 

They are most likely overstating many problems (with some noteworthy exceptions) so that you can feel more immobilized and click.

 

  • The Aging Process Does Not Have to Be an Evolution from Idealism to Conformity.

 

It may be tempting to think so at times, but one way to counteract this is to constantly “open doors” in your life with new skills and expanding the world of you.

 

  • If you’re Over-Analytical, Know When to Turn it Off.

THIS is something I have issues with. Still.

Whether it be with students’ feedback or internet comments or even dislikes on videos, do realize that creating hypothetical situations and “stories” can actually be harmful. A lot of this has to do with competitive school culture, but once you really leave you’ll realize that most human beings are actually quite forgiving of…almost anything, actually. As long as it isn’t done out of pure malice, that is.

 

  • Ask People Questions About Their Story. Frame Their Lives as a Story.

For example, I’ve met Jewish converts and “newly minted” American citizens on a weekly basis for some time now. I’m curious to hear about how Judaism / American-ness makes them feel. Same for many other identities as well, whether it be discovery of a language like (Spanish / Danish / Yiddish / Thai / etc.) or having recently moved to New York City.

Often I got remarks like “I’ve always wanted to open up to people about this, but they almost never asked”.

 

  • Open Doors for People (Well, Yes, Literally, but Also in a Figurative Sense)

When I was in Yad Vashem in December 2012 (which, looking back on it, was one of the most transformative months of my life. I visited Skansen in Stockholm for the first time and visited many of Israel’s holy sites that I hadn’t seen before), there was one remark from a Swedish priest that still rings with me to this day.

“There were some of the teachers that tried to open doors for me. And there were others that tried to close doors for me”, he said.

In my teaching and in my conversations, I want to make people realize that their dreams can come true. I praise people for their tough decisions and their artistic determination. I want to act as an energizer and let them know that becoming their ideal self is always possible.

 

  • Know that You are a Legend and Other People Will Remember You.

 

Perhaps this one requires a good deal of egoism. But egoism isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If you use it to lift other people up, especially in times of despair, then it can actually be a divine virtue, in a sense.

See yourself as a legend beyond compare, as if the future of the world depends on your every action, in a sense. See yourself as a comic book character with layers of deep change and vulnerability. See yourself as someone who has to use his / her / their powers for good. Use that power to make others believe in themselves and feel appreciated and cared for.

 

After all, YOU may be the person upon whom the future of humanity depends. And you may not even know it yet!

20181120_113303

5 Types of People Who You Should NOT Take Language Learning Advice From

Happy 1st of May! Don’t be confused by the title, this is actually an article filled with encouragement for YOU! Hope your resolutions are going by okay!

Come to think of it, it actually isn’t the PEOPLE themselves but rather their MINDSETS, which are always subject to change (and yes, I do mean always!).

The general rule is this: believe those who want to help you up, and don’t believe those who want to push you down.

However, it can also occur to me that, sometimes, I myself may have written or said something that you may have construed as discouragement or the like. I will say that it is NEVER, EVER my intention to express anything less than “all human beings deserve fulfilled dreams”.

Sometimes there are people who, due to some circumstances, may be wounded or otherwise having a hard time. They may also be blinded on behalf of a belief system (and not just religious ones, mind you) that may prevent them from thinking in any other ways.

To celebration 1/3 of 2018 being over, let’s take note of some variety of opinions you should watch out for:

  1. People Who Focus on What You HAVEN’T Done (Vs. What You HAVE Done)

 

I remember when I was in the Orthodox Jewish Day school of Hard Knocks, I was feeling insufficient, doubtful and overall extremely insecure (this was in my early teenage years, by the way).

The reason? A lot of the teachers were getting me to think about what I WASN’T doing to be a good Jew vs. what I WAS doing.

By contrast, the people at my local minyan in rural Connecticut as well as my rabbis here in New York DO actually tell me that, despite my spiritual failings and any hardships / sins I may have gathered, that I actually am a good person because of the work I’ve done for the proliferation of my own Jewish heritage as well as healing in the world.

As a language teacher I focus on what my students have BUILT UP vs. what they don’t have yet.

An example of this: someone who compares a language you’ve learned in adulthood to that of a native speaker (in an unfair light). Another example: someone who puts down your language abilities on account of one mistake. (The latter is significantly rarer).

 

  1. People Who Adjust Goalposts Arbitrarily

 

One very toxic YouTube personality, within the same video, said that YouTuber X was not a real polyglot because he didn’t do any work in field linguistics with languages with no written form…followed by saying that YouTuber Y was wasting time because he was focusing on rarer languages from the developing world.

Another person tried to accuse me of claiming fluency while knowing only a few sentences of the language. Presented with evidence to the contrary, he proceeded to call me a bunch of names and told me that I didn’t understand how “hard it is” to learn a language. (If you know only how to speak only in insults and diatribes, I bet not only learning a language would be hard but literally everything else in your life).

There is no way to reason with such people. They only seek to infuse self-doubt into the people enjoying the success they wish they were having. And they can have it. But only with changing a toxic mindset. Luckily, this can come easily.

 

  1. People Who, Without Proof, Say That You Haven’t Accomplished What You Actually Have

 

I’m certified in multiple languages (Yiddish, Hebrew and Danish) and I teach nearly nine others. Someone who tries to tell me that I only know how to speak English? Disregard. Someone who tries to tell me that my teaching business is a scam? Disregard. Someone who tries to tell me that I didn’t learn all of these languages when there are videos of me using them? Disregard.

You should ask no less of yourself.

 

  1. People Who Invest More Negative Energy in Their Writing and Speaking Styles than Positive Energy

 

In playgrounds for children there are the variety of kids who want to cooperate and help other people build things and have a good time. There are others that want to destroy the fun for everyone else, perhaps out of boredom or some other negative emotions. (I’ve been both kids, so I know how it feels).

There are people who have an aura of bitterness and pessimism throughout, and this can be especially true on the internet. Some people can’t even bring themselves to say anything positive. Don’t try to get them to. Instead keep on playing and building sandcastles.

 

  1. Anyone Who Discourages You from Following Your Dreams

 Yup. Even if that anyone happens to be myself.

Ever since I graduated from college I decided I would adopt a new rule for my life: this is my life and my dream, and I do what makes it possible. Those who are willing to support me – I will actively seek their company and provide them with support. Those who seek to discourage me in any form – I will distance myself from them, until they learn to do otherwise.

This is your life. You are the hero/ine. You will be a legend to be remembered to whatever degree you want to. Don’t let anyone else take that from you.

 

News:

 

I’ll be focusing on Kiribati and Rotuman for May 2018. The Fijian and Fiji Hindi videos should be up in about a week. I’m still thinking about how to do the “cover” of Ari in Beijing’s “Fail to Win” video. It’ll be on its way!

IMG_0188

Compliments on Your Language Skills: Is it a Good Sign or Not?

Probably one of the most CONFUSING things ever written about concerning the finer points of language learning is the question as to whether or not getting complimented on your language skills is a good thing or not.

Those who might not know anything about it would say “well, of course it’s a good thing!” However, several Facebook pages have had blog posts that indicate otherwise. (Don’t worry, I’ll get to my opinion in a moment, and it isn’t a simple one!)

The logic that says “truly good language learners don’t get complimented on their language skills” goes like this: native speakers don’t get complimented on THEIR skills, and so to get compliments from native speakers indicates that something is WRONG.

The truth is, I’ve been complimented on how well I speak English, even by native speakers. By that extension, that means that something is off (according to this line of logic).

However, there are many sides to the compliment factor, including the following which play important roles:

 

  • How commonly spoken is the language by foreigners? (This is especially true for what is the world’s most commonly studied L2 – English. If you’re learning that, don’t expect compliments unless you’re doing a REALLY good job).

 

  • How commonly is the language spoken by foreigners who look like you? (Being a white person such as myself can also work for me in learning a language from, let’s say, East Asia, but it can also work against me if I’m a beginner, as many people in Myanmar expected me to know English or German but Burmese? Not so much).

 

  • How well do you speak it? (The compliment is going to mean something completely different if you began learning the language a few weeks ago vs. if you’ve had several years of experience with it and consider yourself conversationally or professionally fluent. Having someone telling me I speak good Swedish at a party [which I’ve been learning since 2012 and fluent since late 2014 or so] is going to be different than the Burmese taxi driver telling me I speak good Burmese when I can say “I want to get off here” when I began learning a few months ago.) Also tied into this issue is how your sentences flow. Some beginners or even intermediate learners can sound like robots at times (I’ve been guilty of this myself) but if you sound believably like a radio announcer your compliment is more likely to be a good sign.

 

Compliments serve TWO purposes in a sense. For one, even if you don’t really speak it well, native speakers can tell you this in order to “egg you on” into studying further. (Believe me, native speakers KNOW this, especially with polyglot culture becoming bigger and bigger with each year, and sometimes meeting more and more resistance with each year, too). Another one is to let you know that you’re doing a good job AND that you should keep it up.

Emotionally intelligent people are aware of the fact that people do things that give them good feelings and avoid things that give them bad feelings. To get anyone to continue anything, make them feel good about it. To try to get someone from desist, make someone feel bad about it (again, this ties into the topic of online bullying and language learning that I wrote about in depth last month).

Now, is getting complimented a BAD sign?

In all honesty, no.

It’s just a sign that you have been making some variety of progress and you should keep going. And that the L1 speaker you are speaking to wants to get that across.

It’s also NOT TRUE that native-like speakers never get complimented. Because they do (heck, as I said above, I get told very often that I speak English very well and it’s my mother tongue).

Also remember that your goal is NOT to be mistaken as a native (although it is a good thing when it happens, it has happened to me on too many occasions to count), but rather to communicate and thereby show respect to someone’s culture and origin.

I know that there’s a myth going around saying that getting compliments means that your language skills are lacking, but usually it doesn’t mean that. Those who say it intend for it to be encouragement and you should take it as such. And they intend for you to let you know how FAR you’ve gone rather than how far you have left to go, even if you have only a few words.

Life is too short and too precious for discouragement! Keep on winning!

IMG_1026

How to Anchor Your Languages to Your “Mentors” So as to Avoid Mixing Them Up

A friend of mine, an English / German / Spanish / Japanese / possibly other languages I forgot / possibly I taught him a few words of Hebrew once asked me to write this post. Thank you, Mitch, with great wishes for your continued success!

Do YOU have a topic you’d like me to write on? Let me know!

I’m recovering from an illness so I hope that this will be good nonetheless.

IMG_2665

Many people have told me that they sometimes intend to say one thing in one language and end up saying something in another, or otherwise the general mix-up that many polyglots, even veterans, know all too well.

Believe me, even native speakers sometimes suffer from this. This is why code-switching is a thing, as well as the fact that many people from India / Oceania / Israel / Northern Europe / American Hispanics mix in English with their native languages. Even in the Arab world this is common with French words instead (in various Arabic varieties spoken in former French colonies, such as with Lebanese Arabic).

That said, there are some people who feel as though they have an “unhealthy dosage” of it, to the degree in which they want to speak Hebrew or Japanese and then Spanish comes out instead, not also to mention those who study similar languages may also suffer from this as well.

Here comes the solution:

Among “dialect continuum” areas (in which the boundaries between languages are unclear and there is a large amount of variance between a language as spoken in a particular country or geographical area), as well as areas of the Internet dedicated to the culture of these areas, you’ll notice something: some people flaunt their national flags with what could almost be described as aggression.

There’s a reason that Norwegian flags are commonly featured on clothing (especially coats and winterwear), and that’s to distinguish their wearers from Swedish or Danish people (the former of whose language closely resembles spoken Norwegian and the latter of which closely resembles the written variety).

In Crown Heights, which I believe is the largest Afro-Caribbean expatriate community in the world, I see Jamaican, Trinidadian, Grenadian and Barbadian flags (among others) VERY commonly. The reason why? So that people don’t mistake them for one from belonging to one of the other nations (despite the fact that many of them share many aspects of culture).

Listening to music from Melanesia, I’ve noticed that a lot of music from Vanuatu tends to show the Ni-Vanuatu Flag in the thumbnail and Solomon Islands music does the same. Bislama and Pijin (their national creoles) resemble each other very closely.

What’s the point I’m trying to make here?

The same way that these people anchor their native identity with imagery and mementos, YOU need to be doing that with the languages you speak as well.

The first time, which is the easiest one, is find “mentors” for each of your languages. No, I’m not saying “go find a private tutor for each one”, but rather a certain native speaker or a set of native speakers whose voice you tend to imitate most. These could be friends, radio hosts, YouTubers, or even voices from an online app.

Here are some of the “mentors” I’ve had:

  • The Irish Language Transparent Language Voice
  • My Welsh-Speaking Friend named Ivan
  • The Vincentian Creole Bible-Redux Narrator (from a set of mp3’s I got from a Bible site that one time. Yes, a lot of them mention Jesus; no, I am not Christian nor do I have any intention of being un-Jewish).
  • A number of Swedish-Language Let’s Play-ers who deserve an entire post written about them (coming soon! And no, PewDiePie is not one of them. I’m glad that he’s brought awareness about the Swedish language and culture to many fields of popular discussion but he crossed the line too many times last year. Also, he uses a lot more English than Swedish in his videos.)
  • Too many of my Yiddish-speaking friends to count, but if I had to pick one it would be Baruch, probably the one I spend the most time with (we attend a lot of the same events).

For your native language, you sort of don’t have any choice for your mentors—they were your parents or guardians. But for languages you learn in adulthood you’ll need to find “adoptive parents” for them.

Obviously if you have a LOT of friends who speak the language (as is the case with languages like Yiddish and Polish for me), your “mentor” will be sort of a blend of all of them although mostly the influence of one or two will overshadow all of them.

I couldn’t imagine Baruch speaking Vincentian Creole English (although maybe one day he’ll learn it, I have no idea). Similarly, I can’ t really imagine the “Vincy” narrator speaking Yiddish or even standard English for that matter (although the latter I would imagine he certainly would know).

Another thing that you very much can do is have different vowel and consonant textures for your languages. Once you get a mentor for any language and start imitating him or her, this will come naturally. Think about the automated voices in your language course—how do they pronounce “a” or “l” differently from the way you do in your native language? Investigate these feelings in detail and mimic them accordingly.

People who are often praised for their accent often do exactly this, and note the differences as to what they hear between speakers of various languages. Once you get good at it, you’ll even be able to keep extremely close languages separate. While I encounter with dogged consistency people who mix up Spanish and Portuguese way too often (precisely because they haven’t gone through this), I can keep straight German and Yiddish, the Scandinavian Languages, and very similar Creole languages—granted there are rare occasions in which I mix them up, but overall I’m in a good place because my “mental discipline” is very honed.

We all have separate identities. Jared the teacher is very flamboyant but he has to tone it down when he’s Jared the student. Similarly, you’ll have to do the same with your languages—allot each one a different set of feelings and a role, as well as, most importantly, ways of talking.

Happy learning!

Why is There a Huge Online Culture Accusing Polyglots of Being Fake?

Probably one of the more painful pieces I’ve had to do “research” for, and another for which no other writings out there existed already. This is, very sadly, a necessary piece.

On Reddit and in many YouTube comments there is often an idea that almost ANYONE who posts videos of him/herself speaking many languages online is almost guaranteed to be a fake and that they “don’t understand how much work goes into a language”.

Benny Lewis seems to get the brunt of a lot of this, but the truth be told is that all of us online polyglots get accused of being fake—it is just that some of us do a better job at hiding it.

It has sometimes gotten so bad that many of my friends just REFUSE to post videos or, if they do, will shut off the comments. What’s worse is the fact that people who are complete outsiders to this craft will say nonsensical things like “you should expect to get criticism if you put yourself out there” (which is just as stupid as an excuse as saying that wearing certain clothing means you were “asking for it”—both serve to absolve the wrongdoer of any fault.)

This toxic energy of internet culture is holding innovation back and it NEEDS TO STOP. IMMEDIATELY.

20140928_074028

At first glance it seems that this battle is actually between (1) hyperpolyglots and (2) HATERZ but there are actually two categories in (2). The first one consists of jealous bilinguals and the second one consists of the no-less-jealous struggling language learners.

For the best of the hyperglots (and I’m getting there), we’ve been so desensitized to being called fake and all sorts of names that a lot of just don’t care anymore (and this indifference occurs naturally with age).

But I’m going to reveal something that very few people on both sides realize:

Usually the most admired polyglots online are actually more admired for their ability to act natural in front of a camera AND speak the languages rather than just speak the languages alone.

I in NO WAY mean to say “all polyglots prepare scripts / read from the screen” or ANYTHING OF THAT SORT. But video making is not just a “point and shoot” variety of deal, and some people have had experience making videos and others, not so much. (And experience doesn’t necessarily correlate to the ability to look and speak naturally in front of a camera, although it does help).

When I made my first polyglot video a year ago, I was FRIGHTENED.

Part of me still is frightened to do something like make a Let’s Play video in Tok Pisin even though I would really like to do that in part because of, yes, some people telling me that a white person has no business speaking this language (which is, frankly, ridiculous—because in the contemporary world, all cultures belong to everyone). Even for “Kaverini: Nuuk Adventures” I was told that maybe some Greenlanders wouldn’t particularly LIKE the fact that I was making a video game set in their country (although everyone I spoke to about it, both inside and outside of Greenland, was enthusiastic about the idea).

Okay, where was I?

There are multiple types of anti-polyglots and each one tends to have different motivations:

 

  • The one who claims “this one internet polyglot is good, but almost all of the others are fake”

What this person doesn’t necessarily realize is that it isn’t the person they’re actually admiring (or not) but actually the presentation of the person.

People accused the 4-year-old hyperglot Bella of being fake and only memorizing a few things but my friends told me that she conversed in all of those languages with other kids readily—something that couldn’t have been captured on video.

There is a lot of sadness in the world, and people can be very good speakers in person but may not show it ideally on the Internet. With a master presentation a lot of the polyglot community would be more “equalized” than most people give them credit for (and when meeting in person, we realize exactly how similar we are to each other skill-wise, something that I’ve seen again and again at polyglot conferences)

 

  • The one who claims that most polyglots overinflate their abilities

 

I have a feeling this one comes from a misunderstanding that some languages are more easily picked up than others.

Mandarin Chinese may be the work of many years but a Creole Language could be picked up readily in a month.

Those who accused me of being fake when I said in Ari in Beijing’s video that I spoke seventeen to eighteen languages fluently didn’t realize that I had multiple sets of very similar languages (and in the case of the creoles of Melanesia, ones so close that even classifying them as separate languages may be debatable!)

There’s no way you can generalize about a group of so many people, and saying “people can only reach C1-C2 in 2-3 languages tops” is demonstrably false.

This comes with frustration with one’s own progress and the cruel road of projection. Nothing less.

 

  • The one that says that all polyglots memorize a few sentences and judge themselves fluent

 

What exactly are we supposed to do, then? An eight-hour video?

Also, especially after the whole Ziad Fazah thing, do you really think most of us would be naïve enough to lie about our skills? Especially in this time of human history? Especially when any one of our readers or fans could evaluate our skills in PERSON and write home about it?

I am professionally held accountable for the image of me projected. If I don’t live up to that, it is a liability on my reputation and I’m fully aware of that. Maybe you might want me to downsize my skills so as to upsize your ego, but I am who I am and I intend to OWN IT. My haters (and the haters of other polyglots), not so much, actually…

 

  • Particular Criticism about the “Fluent in 3 Months Thing”

It’s a challenge, not a promise. Even if he fell short in his missions, honestly, who cares? Benny Lewis has inspired millions of people, far more than people who write nasty things about him on the Internet ever will.

 

  • Accusing all polyglots of being a “jack of all trades, master of none”

 

A simple case of confirmation bias (which is selectively choosing data or experience to suit your conclusion that makes you feel better about yourself / confirm your existing beliefs).

 

Most hyperpolyglots that I know have a “core” of languages that they know very, very well and others that are all over the map (my core would, no doubt, be the languages of Scandinavia, Yiddish and the Melanesian Creoles. With time I’d like to bring at least some native languages of Oceania into that core as well.)

 

What people who say this ACTUALLY mean is “I’d like to think that this person is terrible at all of their languages so I can feel better about myself”.

 

Once you realize that pretty much everyone who espouses the viewpoints on this list does so from a sense of personal insecurity, you actually learn to not take them seriously anymore. In fact, you might actually…have pity on them.

 

  • The one who accuses polyglots of reading from the screen or using translation devices

 

Again, we polyglots are aware that mis-portraying ourselves or overinflating our skills can get us into trouble in our in-person interactions. If we use a language in one of our videos, we either have to be prepared to use it with other people or explain that we’re learning it or that we forgot it. There is not fourth option

This accusation is just another form of the generalized hate for the polyglot community which is, essentially, a security blanket for insecure people.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. People always have the chance to fulfill their language dreams, whether it be learning one language to near-native fluency or twenty languages okay.

I hope we live to see a day in which this internet toxicity that is holding our community back dies out for good. We all can do our part by putting the effort towards making our OWN dreams a reality.

You can start TODAY! And don’t believe ANY pessimism! Not now, not ever!

Go Go Go!

Who’s Afraid of Swedish ‘n Friends? The Culture of Discouragement from Learning Scandinavian Languages and its Implications

Polyglot Facebook groups exploded last week with countless debates and personal stories about learning languages of Scandinavia via on-location immersion (or, in simpler terms, learning Swedish in Sweden very much like I did [even though I did the majority of the work after I left]).

The vast majority of the stories were discouraging for a multitude of reasons. Icelanders who wanted to use English no matter what. Danes telling study-abroad students that learning their language was a waste of time. Nearly a HUNDRED stories about people had given up learning these languages because of these attitudes.

I’d like to say two things.

First off, there’s tunnel vision at work in a lot of these. Looking back at my time in Sweden, I was met mostly with ENCOURAGEMENT to learn Swedish from native-speaking friends (especially since I told them that I was doing it for heritage reasons). But again, there were times that I screwed up with in hesitating (which WILL get you answered in English) and unnaturally slow speech (same result).

I had frustration, no doubt. I called up my parents for encouragement and sometimes was nearly on the verge of crying, wondering how I could ever learn the language of my family to read the letters of my ancestors who had passed on.

But there were also people like the learners I met in Heidelberg, staff members at stores who would use Swedish with me even if I was speaking English to my family members within earshot, and those who were pleased when I switched from ordering my groceries in English to Swedish and told me that I was going a good job.

Keep in mind that during all of this I was at a BASIC level. And another thing to keep in mind (with all of these internet horror stories hopping around) is the fact that using a language is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GAME depending on what level you’re on.

That’s the first thing.

The second thing is, yes, the attitudes need to improve. As far as the west is concerned, the day is not far when NO ONE will be impressed by good English spoken by non-natives anymore. The flipside to this is that as fewer and fewer people in the Anglophone world see a reason to learn languages, especially those outside of the mainstream, the more you’ll stand out and the more people will want to engage you because of that.

If you are a speaker of a language other than English, you have a MORAL IMPERATIVE to not switch to English unless absolutely necessary. This isn’t up for debate anymore in an age of mass language death.  No one is impressed, no one thinks it fun, and it just makes you look insecure. If you don’t like the fact that I said that, get over it. Learn to have some pride in your identity and your native language and realize that throwing away your identity for some cool American-esque one only serves the corporations destroying the planet. (And did I mention it makes you look insecure? I did. Also using multiple languages with English is okay, as no doubt I may encounter in places like Fiji should I go there later this year).

The good news is that most people are changing. The polyglot communities seem to be getting more powerful and with the Internet people are being exposed to other languages and cultures more quickly than before and realize that machine translation isn’t going to solve everything or make everything accessible.

When I was reading a lot of the Scandinavian discouragement stories in groups, I kept on thinking “why did none of this really happen to me?” In Greenland when buying things in stores, it was usually in a mixture of Greenlandic and Danish even though sometimes they might have thrown some English in their in the off-chance that they thought I was from somewhere else. (Disclosure: with the exception of speaking with friends [in which we took turns hopping between various languages], I didn’t take the English-thing personally and just continued using whatever language I was without flinching).

Then, of course, the fact that I’ve met speakers from the Nordic countries in New York and they’ve all been super-appreciative of my efforts to learn their language and with CONSISTENCY they’ve told me that they’ve been impressed. Sometimes some of them wanted to learn other languages from me, in which case I was willing to switch (I gotta do my part to keep languages alive too, y’know). But nowhere NEAR the variety of stuff along the lines of “people told me to stop wasting their time, people rolled their eyes, I needed a perfect accent in order to not get English used with me”, yada yada yada.

It has nearly been one year since I was in Myanmar and I could have easily blamed the fact that I got answered in English fairly frequently on the fact that I’m WHITE. Or I could do the mature thing and realize that I’ve encountered fluent Burmese speakers of all races and that I should have worked on my general fluidity and sounding natural rather than expecting to get answered in Burmese with simple phrasebook material.

Looking back at my time in Sweden and Iceland, I saw it as an added challenge. Getting answered in Icelandic in a restaurant was so elusive in polyglot groups that it almost never happened. I had it done consistently (with public transport it was another story because they expected me to be a tourist. Keep using Icelandic and they’ll switch, trust me on this. Again, with personal conversations = completely different game). That said, I also hear that Quebec and Senegal make Iceland seem like “the first level in the game”.

At the end of the day, I want you to read this piece with nothing but encouragement.

Getting fluency in the languages of the Nordic countries AND getting L1 speakers to use it with you IS VERY MUCH POSSIBLE. Don’t believe ANYONE who tells you otherwise. Sure, there may be some people who discourage you but they’d exist for any language community and are always in the minority.

But any language journey, no matter what language you choose, is no simple process—you need to be dynamic, inventive and persistent.

And keep in mind that, in all likelihood, you’re not reading a whole lot of success stories about language learning in the polyglot groups. But those success stories are out there and you can start writing your own!

Have fun and don’t give up!

norden

The Polyglot’s Guide to Dealing with In-Person Haters

I’m pleased to announce that my post about how to deal with online hate (again, NOT criticism, as some people may incorrectly call it) was EXTREMELY well-received, and many language enthusiasts all over the world confided in me that having that in writing had a therapeutic effect.

Here’s a significantly smaller problem, however. You develop a reputation for being able to speak many languages and sometimes some people may not choose to believe you for a number of different reasons.

The more your reputation as a polyglot grows, the more you constantly feel under pressure to perform–in a sense, it feels like permanent stage fright, especially if you come from a place where not a lot of people speak many languages (the United States would definitely qualify, and this also has a negative effect on people who DO speak more than one language natively because they don’t expect you to be good AND will probably judge you to very high standards, especially if the language is commonly offered in schools)

Again, hate is not criticism. Criticism is done lightly and with a hope that you’ll improve. Hate is a desire to knock other people down.

Here’s one type of hate that can be sometimes innocent but sometimes harsh:

 

“There’s no way you speak all of those”

Obviously more common online, this is a relatively easy fix because usually a lot of people who say these tend to not speak many languages.

They may ask you to translate random things in the room (that you may not even know the name of in your NATIVE LANGUAGES), but don’t feel as you’re struticized very much. If someone is “testing” you, you need to deliver your sentences with confidence and with a believable accent and you’re good. Believe me, they probably won’t be judging you or remembering everything you say or secretly recording it. Ordinary people aren’t spies.

Also keep in mind that some people may not actually mean ill when they say this, they really want you to show what you’re capable of, especially if you know languages that a lot of people have never heard of before (God knows how many times I’ve been asked to speak some Greenlandic, Icelandic, or heck, even languages from Oceania).

Especially with Americans, you’re more likely to impress them as long as you have a relaxed a smooth feel to your sentences.

If you do get asked to speak a more commonly spoken language that American students usually study at one point in their lives (e.g. Spanish), be prepared to use something more idiomatic. I save my imitation of El Rubius OMG for occasions such as that, but given how commonly Spanish is learned in comparison to Fijian, you can guess which one people ask me to speak more often.

 

Getting the Native Speaker to Test You

One of my personal favorites (especially since a lot of “in-person haters” usually choose Swedish people for this expecting it to be one of my weaker languages when it is one of my strongest).

There’s no way around this, you need to have something prepared for this. But fear not, even if you’re an absolute beginner, you can pull it off:

For beginners: song lyrics, simple phrases, pickup lines (if you’re feeling bold), jokes, Bible verses (if you’re feeling EXTREMELY bold), tongue twisters, or saying “I love (insert language or country)!” and / or “I want to speak (language) better!”

For intermediate learners: mention names of bands or songs or YouTube channels you like (or even places in their home country that you liked). Ask your native speaker friend for recommendations.

For advanced learners, this is an non-issue but whatever you do, DO NOT OVERANALYZE IT. You’d be surprising how forgiving a lot of native speakers really are, especially if they come from places where there are many immigrants that learn the language (e.g. Sweden, Israel, Germany, etc.)

Given as most human beings (in-person, at least) are actually decent human beings, you’re probably not going to hear your skills insulted, yet alone insulted harshly.

 

The Native Speaker Who Only Wants to Use English

 

This is a toughie. It just simply shows an extreme sense of insecurity on their part. It also shows close-mindedness and an unwillingness to experience new things or help people. Not much I can say. Move on and realize that this is most likely a reflection on THEMSELVES, not on you (same way that people writing nasty comments about you [or me, or anyone else] online is ALSO a reflection of their toxic mindsets).

 

The Person Who Insults Your Language Choice

 

I like Fijian (the language I’m focusing on right now, in fact). French, not so much. Not right now, at least, but who knows what I’ll like in the future? Maybe if I end up in Polynesia I’ll be crash-studying it again.

God knows how many people I’ve encountered asking me why I choose to focus more on languages from Scandinavia and Oceania rather than Romance Languages or Chinese Languages. I don’t have a good answer, except for the fact that I like what I like and I’m not ashamed of it. What’s more, I’ve had contact with local celebrities from small countries because of these choices, not also to mention the fantastic red carpet treatment I get (in both Sweden and Iceland I was told that I spoke the language better than most immigrants, especially recent immigrants. I’m a lot better now in both).

I explain the reasons why I learn languages from these places (I’ve had a childhood fascination with the Pacific, I have Swedish ancestry myself that I wanted to connect to, etc.). Most people will usually understand that reason. Or, at least, they will pretend that they do.

 

The Person Who Insults You For Not Focusing On Their Language

 

I get this almost exclusively from French and Spanish speakers (sorry…)

Same as the above. By doing so, you’ll have people realize that being a good example is the best way to get someone interested in your language (Danish was a language I chose to learn because I had positive interactions with native speakers, even before I knew Danish. I’ll say this: it is easier to use Danish with them than you think, don’t believe the hype on the Internet that says “Oh! They’ll use only English no matter what!” Trust me, it isn’t true.)

I’ve also met mature speakers of these languages who also realize that, ask questions and general don’t have any INCH of this language chauvinism.

 

The Person Who Thinks that His or Her Native Language is Useless and That You Shouldn’t Be Learning It

 

Probably the rarest of them all.

Example: Swedish person in Sweden tells me that I didn’t really need to know Swedish because yada yada high English proficiency rates. (This was before I was “any good at it”)

My response was pretty much (a politely version of): “Oh, yeah? Well, I have letters written in Swedish written by my DEAD FAMILY MEMBERS. And those letters aren’t going to translate themselves”.

After something like this, they almost invariably keep quiet about it permanently.

Again, this is a RARITY (and in some cases, a test. They may want to find what it is that you like about their culture. Any reason is good enough. It doesn’t matter if it is heritage reasons or becuase you like watching Let’s Play videos in your target language, as long as you show an appreciation of some sort, you’re good).

 

Conclusion: Haters exist because a lot of the world is hurting.

The contemporary world in the west thrives on making people feel insecure. One result of this is that a lot of people walk about the world dejected and desperate.

You, oh Polyglot hero(ine), are not one of those people. But on going through a great journey, you’ll encounter many people. Some of them may be wise and want to help you and gain your wisdom, others will seek to put you down in order to make them feel good about themselves. Don’t blame them, they’re victims of a system that most are truly unaware of.

But there’s a clear way to win. And that’s to move forward to your dreams, come what may.

Happy dreaming!

 

2015-08-18 12.56.52