The Polyglot’s Guide to Dealing with In-Person Haters

I’m pleased to announce that my post about how to deal with online hate (again, NOT criticism, as some people may incorrectly call it) was EXTREMELY well-received, and many language enthusiasts all over the world confided in me that having that in writing had a therapeutic effect.

Here’s a significantly smaller problem, however. You develop a reputation for being able to speak many languages and sometimes some people may not choose to believe you for a number of different reasons.

The more your reputation as a polyglot grows, the more you constantly feel under pressure to perform–in a sense, it feels like permanent stage fright, especially if you come from a place where not a lot of people speak many languages (the United States would definitely qualify, and this also has a negative effect on people who DO speak more than one language natively because they don’t expect you to be good AND will probably judge you to very high standards, especially if the language is commonly offered in schools)

Again, hate is not criticism. Criticism is done lightly and with a hope that you’ll improve. Hate is a desire to knock other people down.

Here’s one type of hate that can be sometimes innocent but sometimes harsh:


“There’s no way you speak all of those”

Obviously more common online, this is a relatively easy fix because usually a lot of people who say these tend to not speak many languages.

They may ask you to translate random things in the room (that you may not even know the name of in your NATIVE LANGUAGES), but don’t feel as you’re struticized very much. If someone is “testing” you, you need to deliver your sentences with confidence and with a believable accent and you’re good. Believe me, they probably won’t be judging you or remembering everything you say or secretly recording it. Ordinary people aren’t spies.

Also keep in mind that some people may not actually mean ill when they say this, they really want you to show what you’re capable of, especially if you know languages that a lot of people have never heard of before (God knows how many times I’ve been asked to speak some Greenlandic, Icelandic, or heck, even languages from Oceania).

Especially with Americans, you’re more likely to impress them as long as you have a relaxed a smooth feel to your sentences.

If you do get asked to speak a more commonly spoken language that American students usually study at one point in their lives (e.g. Spanish), be prepared to use something more idiomatic. I save my imitation of El Rubius OMG for occasions such as that, but given how commonly Spanish is learned in comparison to Fijian, you can guess which one people ask me to speak more often.


Getting the Native Speaker to Test You

One of my personal favorites (especially since a lot of “in-person haters” usually choose Swedish people for this expecting it to be one of my weaker languages when it is one of my strongest).

There’s no way around this, you need to have something prepared for this. But fear not, even if you’re an absolute beginner, you can pull it off:

For beginners: song lyrics, simple phrases, pickup lines (if you’re feeling bold), jokes, Bible verses (if you’re feeling EXTREMELY bold), tongue twisters, or saying “I love (insert language or country)!” and / or “I want to speak (language) better!”

For intermediate learners: mention names of bands or songs or YouTube channels you like (or even places in their home country that you liked). Ask your native speaker friend for recommendations.

For advanced learners, this is an non-issue but whatever you do, DO NOT OVERANALYZE IT. You’d be surprising how forgiving a lot of native speakers really are, especially if they come from places where there are many immigrants that learn the language (e.g. Sweden, Israel, Germany, etc.)

Given as most human beings (in-person, at least) are actually decent human beings, you’re probably not going to hear your skills insulted, yet alone insulted harshly.


The Native Speaker Who Only Wants to Use English


This is a toughie. It just simply shows an extreme sense of insecurity on their part. It also shows close-mindedness and an unwillingness to experience new things or help people. Not much I can say. Move on and realize that this is most likely a reflection on THEMSELVES, not on you (same way that people writing nasty comments about you [or me, or anyone else] online is ALSO a reflection of their toxic mindsets).


The Person Who Insults Your Language Choice


I like Fijian (the language I’m focusing on right now, in fact). French, not so much. Not right now, at least, but who knows what I’ll like in the future? Maybe if I end up in Polynesia I’ll be crash-studying it again.

God knows how many people I’ve encountered asking me why I choose to focus more on languages from Scandinavia and Oceania rather than Romance Languages or Chinese Languages. I don’t have a good answer, except for the fact that I like what I like and I’m not ashamed of it. What’s more, I’ve had contact with local celebrities from small countries because of these choices, not also to mention the fantastic red carpet treatment I get (in both Sweden and Iceland I was told that I spoke the language better than most immigrants, especially recent immigrants. I’m a lot better now in both).

I explain the reasons why I learn languages from these places (I’ve had a childhood fascination with the Pacific, I have Swedish ancestry myself that I wanted to connect to, etc.). Most people will usually understand that reason. Or, at least, they will pretend that they do.


The Person Who Insults You For Not Focusing On Their Language


I get this almost exclusively from French and Spanish speakers (sorry…)

Same as the above. By doing so, you’ll have people realize that being a good example is the best way to get someone interested in your language (Danish was a language I chose to learn because I had positive interactions with native speakers, even before I knew Danish. I’ll say this: it is easier to use Danish with them than you think, don’t believe the hype on the Internet that says “Oh! They’ll use only English no matter what!” Trust me, it isn’t true.)

I’ve also met mature speakers of these languages who also realize that, ask questions and general don’t have any INCH of this language chauvinism.


The Person Who Thinks that His or Her Native Language is Useless and That You Shouldn’t Be Learning It


Probably the rarest of them all.

Example: Swedish person in Sweden tells me that I didn’t really need to know Swedish because yada yada high English proficiency rates. (This was before I was “any good at it”)

My response was pretty much (a politely version of): “Oh, yeah? Well, I have letters written in Swedish written by my DEAD FAMILY MEMBERS. And those letters aren’t going to translate themselves”.

After something like this, they almost invariably keep quiet about it permanently.

Again, this is a RARITY (and in some cases, a test. They may want to find what it is that you like about their culture. Any reason is good enough. It doesn’t matter if it is heritage reasons or becuase you like watching Let’s Play videos in your target language, as long as you show an appreciation of some sort, you’re good).


Conclusion: Haters exist because a lot of the world is hurting.

The contemporary world in the west thrives on making people feel insecure. One result of this is that a lot of people walk about the world dejected and desperate.

You, oh Polyglot hero(ine), are not one of those people. But on going through a great journey, you’ll encounter many people. Some of them may be wise and want to help you and gain your wisdom, others will seek to put you down in order to make them feel good about themselves. Don’t blame them, they’re victims of a system that most are truly unaware of.

But there’s a clear way to win. And that’s to move forward to your dreams, come what may.

Happy dreaming!


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