January 2018 is about to close, and it seems that I did myself a great disservice at the beginning of the month.
Empowered by the fact that I did achieve a significant amount of my 2017 goals, I DRASTICALLY overshot for both the whole year as well as for January 2018.
My goals were to focus on:
Hungarian (modest success)
Gilbertese (modest success)
Vincentian Creole (virtually no progress whatsoever)
Not also to mention that I greatly neglected the “CleartheList” challenge that I set out to do at the beginning of the month. I seemingly neglected every single task.
If this were a high school report, January 2018 would have given me a barely passing grade.
But interestingly, I’ve notice a HUGE change from my school days to now, the fact that the combination of failure and trying again is more powerful than merely succeeding on the first try.
Surprisingly I felt (and this is the first time I’m saying this) that my college grades weren’t up to par. While some people found themselves on the Dean’s List and Phi Beta Kappa I struggled GREATLY (granted, this was in part because I felt pressured to continue my classical studies long after I lost interest in dead languages in general).
But do I think about it now at all? No. If anything, I think that I saw organized education as deeply flawed actually EMBOLDENED me. It made me want to go on the different path, stand out and be rebellious. And you’d be surprised how little your previous failures matter when you speak 17+ languages very well (even if a good portion of those 17 are English Creoles).
And then, there are the polyglotism failures.
Times I haven’t lived up to my standards.
Times I felt compelled to run away from a conversation with a native speaker because I was just too self-conscious even if they said outright I was speaking very well.
Times I was asked to speak a language that I’ve had rusty practice with and didn’t deliver.
Times I’ve fallen to my own limiting beliefs.
Times I’ve made grievous errors, regarding word choice, grammar, tones or something else entirely.
Times in which I’m tempted to compare my native English to any of my other languages and they, for obvious reasons, fall short (I tested in the 99th+% percentile for English vocabulary usage, so my speech in English is EXTREMELY well developed.)
But with each one I’ve become further emboldened after the fact. Sometimes I’ve had to call a family member or confide in a friend that I felt that I used a certain language so weakly that I “ought to have been ashamed” (and yes, sometimes ENGLISH was that language!)
I think that there are some online polyglots that try to deliberately hide their vulnerability on their blogs but from my experiences at conferences we really all have that vulnerability…not just polyglots, but any high achievers.
As to what I did wrong with “Clear the List”, well…I was feeling invincible after the Polyglot Conference and after having looked back at what a success 2017 was for my life, and I just took on too much.
Let’s revise my plan for February 2018 accordingly:
- Greenlandic 30-Day Speaking Challenge (I just think COMPLETING it would be a good idea)
- 30 minutes of Fijian Every Day (this is something I NEED to get done)
- Caribbean Creole Project in honor of Black History Month, perhaps uploading at least one video on that Creole once every three days at least.
I haven’t decided which Creole gets the “honor” yet, I put it to a poll on my Facebook page but it seems that the personal poll feature still has yet to be worked out (it didn’t show up on people’s News Feeds for some odd reason).
Anyhow, the Hungarian 30-Day Challenge in complete (there will only be 28 recordings because two of them involve songs that I can’t post on my YouTube channel if I want to monetize the videos. Despite the January 2018 changes that will render my channel demonetized until I reach 1,000 subscribers AND 4,000 hours of view time in the last year, I want to invest in it eventually, so make sure to subscribe!)
In the meantime, here’s the previous Greenlandic 30-Day Challenge Video from December 2017, I’m curious how my next one in February will go!