In college as well as some years after that, I made some cartoony “homemade movies” for my family members, usually on the occasion of their birthday. After 2013 or so my life was in disarray with what ultimately resulted in me walking away from my academic path several years later.
At around that time I began to be more cynical, distrustful, hardened and distant. To some degree, that’s odd, given that people believed that I didn’t lose my humorous and personable side throughout all of this, even during my worst moments.
In 2015 / 2016 I got Lyme Disease and I seemed to have retired this blog and many of my other projects. From 2013 until very recently I also acquired a fear of being recorded on video, despite the fact that I not only never lost my artistic side throughout all of this time but I really wanted to express it.
I wanted to make Let’s Play videos, educational videos and general entertainment, but every time I had a camera in front of me I froze.
Then one day in March 2017 I committed to promising that I would put out a polyglot video within the week, which I did…however, due to my fear, I felt that I didn’t express emotion the way I would have liked. It was a modest success, however.
That will change with my next polyglot video which is due for release in November. Yes, I thought of doing it earlier this month but it didn’t really seem helpful because I think my second attempt would best be served after the polyglot conference.
But in July, after having fully be changed as a result of my interview with Ari in Beijing as well as my trip to Myanmar, I decided to enter the YouTube sphere.
To date I have a number of language-learning series on there, and I’ll showcase them. Subscribe to my channel if you’d like to see more of these!
Also, if you want to request that I learn languages of a certain variety, let me know! (Including review or advanced studying of languages I already have dealt with).
My Learning Palauan Series:
My Learning Mooré / Mossi Series:
My Learning Kiribati / Gilbertese Series:
My Learning Guarani Series:
My Learning Chad “ChadChad” Arabic Series:
My Learning Lao Series:
And a “podcast” of adapted blogposts from this site:
Of all of these languages, my Lao is definitely the strongest, tied with Burmese for my favorite Asian Language.
There are also plenty of Let’s Play videos that I do here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRW0R5Y4PeHqt8vvTo454ig?view_as=subscriber
So enough shameless self-promotion and more of how I’ve felt changed as a result of this channel:
- I’m Willing to Show My Personality More Often, with More Ease and with More Depth on a Consistent Basis
Thanks to some bad experiences I underwent when I was studying abroad, I withdrew into “self-censorship” more often. Thankfully supportive people (like readers such as yourself) have helped reverse this trend, and constantly being on camera and practicing being more uninhibited has had a therapeutic effect in which I’m starting to feel like my true self again.
After making a Let’s Play Video, I feel ready to go outside and engage the world with great enthusiasm.
Despite that, I still have many sides of myself that I feel are quite inhibited, but I think with more subscribers as well as more videos I’ll be peeling away my inhibitions and the blocks of my heart one by one.
- The Fear of Listening to My Own Voice (singing as well as talking) is Gone
This is a BIG ONE, and this is a fear that most people probably never get over.
Surprisingly I’m not vexed or confused when listening to my own voice anymore, and sometimes I re-watch a lot of my old videos in order to rehearse languages or relive old moments (oy, that “Best of 2017” video is going to be positively cruel to edit!)
It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable in the slightest.
- I’ve Embraced Making Mistakes and “Slipping Up” More Often
I remember back when I tried making Let’s Play Videos in June, I would slip up and then I would pause, press the stop button, and delete the video. I judged my voice and what I was saying with great harshness, but after some experience I realized that as long as I maintain a lot of the flow and seem genuine, most people are going to actually like it.
Sometimes even when there were grievous audio mistakes (like an annoying fan in the background of one of my Gilbertese videos or issues with microphone replacement that resulted in odd audio at times of my Puzzle Collection Playthrough), I would actually re-watch these videos and thoroughly enjoy them. Yes, it can actually be different depending on what device you’re watching it on, and I’m gaining more wisdom as to “what works” every single day.
- I’ve began to stop holding back
Want to do a project? Begin it!
Want to film a video? Just film it!
Want to write something? Go ahead!
You can’t live your life with this great fear of judgment of others! If ever you have an idea that says, “gosh, wouldn’t it be great do (fulfill a dream of your choice here)?” formulate a plan with which to make it possible!
Where I still have yet to improve!
There is one thing I am afraid of, however: the fact that I’m juggling both Let’s Play videos and educational things on my channel. I fear that when I upload one or the other, I may lose subscribers who wanted more of the other one.
I’m also confused exactly how to make my channel grow, but any tips of yours are appreciated!
I can’t wait for this exciting journey to continue even further!